10 Things Severus Snape is Not
by J.D.Bell
Summary: A one shot SSHG for the fun of it.


First SS/HG. Trying my hand at this trope.

10 Things Severus Snape is not.

1\. Dead. He isn't dead because, logically, no spy is without a plan B. And Severus is ultimately logical. He'd charmed his silver pocket watch chain many years ago. It detected his heart rate when it dipped below critical and turned into an emergency portkey that went directly to a private room in St. Mungos attended by a healer that he paid well (and, quite frankly, bodily threatened) for discretion. It was how he'd survived these many years in the service of a madman but it required him to be absolutely on death's door and alone. There were many close calls including the final one. The children had departed in the nick of time.

2\. Redeemed. Severus Snape was never redeemed and he never would be. He knew his self-selected role as a coward, bully and teacher would never be counteracted by the good he did and he did not care. He was bitter and despised teaching. He only ever did it because it was an excellent cover and a covert way to meet with Dumbledore and to convince Voldemort that he was in Dumbledore's confidence. When his survival had been publicly announced he'd decided at the first available opportunity to flee from the public eye. To be branded a hero for his actions was so James Potter-esque that The Prophet nearly spontaneously caught fire in his hands. He decided that humans en-mass were generally mentally impaired and too inclined to forgive for the sake of a grand love story.

3\. In love with Lily Potter. After all this time, Dumbledore had asked. The answer was, "always," but it was no longer romantic. Lily became his conscious. The voice that answered the hard questions when they came and he loved her and her memory dearly but he was no longer in love with her. His Patronus was produced by the warm feeling of her constant memory- it was not his happiest memory. He had long since ceased to romantically love her. In fact, he'd never been romantically inclined after she rejected him with any woman. That is, until Hermione Granger arrived back on his door step.

4\. Amused. He was not at all amused when the know-it-all that he wished never to see again came knocking on his door. His home was unplottable. No one, save for the village muggles knew of his existence and he'd used a fake identity with them. To them he was John Smith. As generic as you could get. To say he was surprised by his visitor would be an understatement. He was also not at all amused to hear her babble on about some potion or other that she was working on, how Harry Potter had dared name his second child in his name sake (!?) and how she was hoping he'd entertain her business proposal.

5\. Aged and Hoary. He was no Dumbledore. He was only 50 years old when Granger came knocking but he felt his years keenly when he noticed how she'd grown. She was lovely. Her hair was pulled back straight and few strands escaped from her loose wavy pony tail. Her robes were black and open and her dress beneath was a pencil sheath that feel below her knees and complimented her figure. She wore little adornment with the exception of a pair of pearl earrings and red lipstick. He denied an attraction and then doubly denied the thoughts of comparison with his person. He would not feel his age because a beautiful woman came knocking. He wasn't interested.

6\. Buying it. Severus had spent years reading people. He wasn't buying her reasons for being there.

"Miss Granger, if that is still your name, please remove yourself from my doorstep. I have no wish to deal in half-truths."

She stared for a half beat, "Of course. I told Harry it wouldn't work. I told him you wouldn't agree."

"What does Mr. Potter have to do with this?"

"I was telling the truth. About the collaboration, that is. It is just this tiny little oversight that Harry would be working on the first potion with us. I've never been good at concealment."

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"You haven't even hear—"

"And I don't care to hear it. You will leave me and never come back."

"I can't do that."

"You can and you will."

"It is too important."

"Don't care."

"But-"

The door slammed. He waited a couple moments and she started banging on his door. He put up silencing charms, blackened his windows and went about his dinner and bed.

7\. Heartless. When he made to open the door the next morning he discovered Granger there. Damn Harry Potter. Did he tell Hermione Granger about his most private memories? He'd blabbed sure enough about Severus' devotion to Lily but there were never any details so he'd assumed he'd kept it to himself but there was Granger curled up on his door step in the exact attitude that he'd curled up outside of the fat lady's door those many years before. She knew he would have to give in. He wasn't heartless after all. No. Absolutely not. He'd survived and so would she and then she'd give up, like he did. He apparated to the small alley outside of the pub where he worked and began his shift. He would not feel compassion for her. She'd brought this on herself. He'd told her to leave.

8\. Oblivious. There she was. Sure as rain in the corner booth. And she was staring at him. In an _uncomfortable_ way. He was not oblivious to the stares of the opposite sex. Wizards at 50 were more like muggles in their early 20s and though the war had been rough on him and he was rather plain, he was rarely ignorant of the stares he would receive on occasion. His work kept him fit. Why was she looking at him like that? It was probably another ploy to get him to agree to her plot. He would ignore her.

9\. Calm. By the end of his shift at 7, the pub was only just starting to get busy. He preferred the slow days. Granger had sat in her corner booth reading and sipping a beer for several hours uninterrupted. Now that the younger population of the village were coming in, an attractive woman did not go unnoticed. Severus didn't like it. These village dolts didn't know they were ogling a powerful witch. They didn't realize that if she chose she could make them forget their very existence with a clean flick of her wand. The thought excited him. She was formidable and it added to her attraction. He did not like the way he felt. He wasn't calm. This should not matter. He stalked over to her booth.

"Leave this place."

"Make me."

"I will not help you. Stop harassing me."

"It seems, _Severus_ , that you are harassing me. This pub is not restricted to the public and I am the public."

In a tone barely audible, "Leave now Miss Granger or I will not be responsible for my actions."

She stood and leaned close to him, "Agree to help me and Harry and I will leave you in peace. Continue to be a stubborn mule and I will hound you to the very gates of hell."

Severus was rendered speechless. They were inches apart. He could see the creases in her red lips. He wanted to curse her. She was forcing his hand and he loathed having a master. People were starting to look. One word,

"Fine."

10\. Interested in Hermione Granger. And Hermione Granger (not Weasley) she still was. By some odd twist of fate. But he wasn't interested. They'd brewed together for a year before she had the audacity to come up behind him and lace her arms around his waist and hug him. He'd stood stock still and said, "I am not interested." They'd brewed together for two before she'd proposed that they start their own business. S&G Potions. It was an instant success. When they'd earned their first 100 Galleons she'd kissed him on the cheek. He'd warned her that that behavior was unacceptable and reiterated, "I am not interested in Hermione Granger." She'd laughed. They lived together above the shop for another 2 years before he awoke in the middle of the night to find her in his room. She'd kissed him again. And _more._ He found the customary words kissed from his mouth. They worked together for 6 years when she suggested that marriage was probably the proper and most logical thing to do. She presented the papers to him and with a humorous twinkle in his eye he'd signed and said, "I am not interested in Hermione Granger." When their first child arrived 2 years later, and he kissed her shock of black hair, with trembling lips he said to his tired wife, "I am not interested in Hermione Granger."

She was in no mood, "Oh, shut it-"

"You didn't let me finish. I am only ever interested in Hermione Snape."

"Prat."


End file.
